Hey guys, I know I've not been updating that often already. Sorry for the lack of post. :( Lack of motivation and I've been too lazy and very very busy with studies, I really need to study hard or else I retain and I obviously don't want that to happen... Life's been pretty much a bitch ever since all complicated things happen. Got real sad and go real crazy, but I have to accept the fact. :) It's better to know everything than letting your loved ones keeping something from you, and when you found out, it's too late to know the truth and you will definitely get hurt real deeply. Some bitch have commented on my Formspring just a few days ago, y'all go check it out(that includes if you have a formspring)!
Just want to let her know that, being a little pussy behind your computer screen & being a keyboard warrior is no use. Confront me will do, I won't eat you up. Since your so unhappy with me, why not just tell me in my face? Don't have the guts to or your just too scared that you will lose your face? Please, if you don't know me don't judge on me. IF YOU WANNA JUDGE ON ME, THEN CONFRONT ME and instead of not confronting me, your being a little dog. :) Just confront me, and everything will be okay my dear girl. <3 Alright, will go get my body on my bed and have my body clock fixed up! Keep on reading, and I will soon update about me and my dearest's 7monthsary! 5 MORE DAYS. xoxo
Well hello there people. :) Just here for an short entry to make this blog more lively... I can't disappoint my daily readers too tho!
Some pictures of me first, took on school's learning journey to the museum... Was bored, well the people I didn't expect to go to the learning journey went to the learning journey heh, don't care.
Well I have got some of my class photos(SAMPLES)... Let y'all take a look at it. ^_^
Okay, I know it's super blur but bear with it... It's too small! :(
Exams are around the corner, you guys out there work hard and strive for the best results... For me, I will be mugging everyday and will bury myself with books aye! hehehe. Goodgirl97
I have got a lot of things in my heart that I want to say it out here. IT'S REALLY BUGGING ME.
I sometimes really really don't feel like being in this world and in my family. I often asked myself and God, "Why do I even exist?"... through this 13+ years of my life, I have been through a lot of pain. Well not including when I'm still a baby sucking on milk bottles~ I often want to go back to the times, when I'm young and still don't know anything about love or even everything. It won't kill me or cause me to have heart breaks. And even though life have ups and downs, there is still one guy, one man who is always there for me when I needed someone.
Yes, he's my boyfriend, Damien Lim. Although we always quarrel over small little things because of my sensitive and selfish attitude, but our relationship so far have been really very good. Nobody is there to stop us to be together anymore. And our school is also not tearing us apart, I'm really very lucky to have him. I know a lot of you guys will say he's even more lucky to have me, but he's very different from other guys. He's such a sweet and cute guy that I can't resist. All of you must say that I'm all over him and am very obsessed over him. Yes, I might be crazy... but I can't help it.
Well, for people who I did share with or the close friends who know me very well, they would have known that I’ve been suffering from some family problem since years ago, ever since I was young. I don't only face stress in my studies and friendship with friends, past hurtful & disappointing relationship and also family problem as well... I often cry so badly, I really cannot stand this house and really sometimes I can just move out~ Yes, I have told my friends about it, my friend knew how I felt as she also experienced the same things. Sometimes I hated my mum so much that I even wonder am I really her real blood daughter. She invades my privacy by look at my text messages with my boyfriend and my friends, insults me when she is angry at me. And always nags at me whenever she's having pms. I really don't understand her. I know she's doing all this for my own good... Let me tell y'all something, when I was P6, I got home real late and I didn't even send her any texts about where I am, when I got home, she took the chopper and chased me, thank god I have my sister to stop her if not I will be dead by then, I was super shocked. I always tell myself do she even care? Does she even spare a thought for me? Does she even respect me? Does she even love me? What am I truly in her eyes? She treat me as a gems in her eyes or just a piece of trash? I doubt, I wonder, I am confused. Yes she is very good to me, spend money on me and gives me allowance which can satisfy me. I am really happy about her doting on me, but she always use those kind of method which really pisses me off when she gets angry or even when I did nothing, she blamed me... I know all of you are gonna say like I'm bad about saying my mother, but if you were in my situation, you will really feel the same way like how I felt. I'm sure one of my really very best friend understands my feelings because we always share things with each other. I have got this feeling, that I will very soon die from all this stupid things that caused me to be curious, confused and mad. I really hate it when she reads my text messages... and she even read it out for me loud enough to make me get even more angry. Every single things I do, she always blame me for the things I’ve done. She said something which is very hurtful to me and even till now, I still remember every single thing she did or say to me. It seriously impacted me very deeply till I really don't know whether I can still be her daughter or not. She sounds like she is trying to tell me that I am a burden to this family. Why must she always me hurt again and again? She often insults and criticise me on the things I do. I always don't meet up to her standards and whatever I do, won't please her.
I blame myself for being such a failure as a daughter of hers, I even cried in front of her and tell her how I really felt all the time when I'm in this freaking house. She compares me with other children which make me feel so lousy about myself. I was thinking, what is so good about her then? If she herself is not that perfect enough, who is she to judge me, to judge my capability? Instead of giving a kind support to me, she makes me feel even lousier of myself.
APOLOGY TO MY MUM
Dear mum, I know you are having a lot of troubles and headaches because of me. and I really felt guilty about it. I'm sorry that I have always let you down by doing all those mistakes and creating troubles for myself to be in. I am really really sorry... I know by apologizing won't make anything better. I want to be a perfect girl in your eyes, I don't want all those quarrels anymore. I'm sick and tired. I promise you from now on, I won't disappoint you and I will be a good girl who studies for her own good and for her own career next time. I'm sorry to embarrass you when your friends asked you about my results. I'm sorry for shouting at you. I'm really sorry... I know you have got a lot of things to do and you have got a lot of things to settle and your work to do, and I just keep on creating troubles to make your headache go even worse, I promise you I won't let you down and give you anymore trouble. I know you regretted giving birth to me, sometimes I even think to myself, why you give birth to me to let you suffer so much? But no matter what, your my mother I have to accept all this facts. I love you mum. I LOVE YOU.
Hey guys here to update yo, ha.
Sorry to not update during the first tiring day of school, a lot of things to do and was super busy with school and homeworks. Teacher is stressing us with the homeworks.... I mean like, c'mon we just got back from school and this is what we get, somemore also get back report book eh. Results not bad, satisfied with it... Thanks to baby uh! He helped me a lot. ♥ He seriously go around telling my teachers who teach me, saying that if I misbehave or anything, tell him. He's such a cute boy. Heh, I was like.... "THERE'S NOTHING THE TEACHERS CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT BECAUSE I'M WELL-BEHAVED" for the time being... Alright, will say about first day of school. :)
12 September 2011
Had assembly then baby walk me back to class for form teacher's period. Back in class, Ms Koh came in and gave us our reusable-water bottle that our class ordered, I ordered Pink, Black and Purple. HA, Mr Chen then came in with our result slips and he waited for us to settle down. We changed our sit to how we sat during Exams. Then he gave us back our result slips.
I'm not so sure about my results, but it should most probably be like this. Mr Chen then ask us to take out Organizer then talked to us. Yes, he told us why we need to sit accordingly to our index number, guess what he say? HAHAHAHHA he want us to get use to our "fengshui" sit, so that we won't complain that our End Of Year Examinations will fail or whatever shit, super funny. Then whole class started to like be in chaos after what Mr Chen said, tsk. He punished the people who didn't bring their organizer to write a 200words essay..
Recess with Jieying and my girls, went to look for baby then ChongZhe disiao us by saying "VP! VP!" Like seriously, vp don't even care about us being together liao.
Baby went counselling so he told me to meet him outside school gate, then we spend our time together and had heart2heart talks and got real moody again, thanks to my cheerful-ness ah, then we back to our mood again. heh, Head home around 5+, had to leave some things at home because bag was seriously fucken heavy, prepared myself then went back to HongWen!
Once I walked in to HongWen, saw XinMei, ChengMun and Michelle with Huang Lao Shi, talked to cher and she put her hand over my shoulder said I have grown taller. ;) Went to the library corner and Juniors come shouting my name and saying "Hello Vanessa!" how cute! Called Stacey and they said they were coming into school already. Saw Yanhan, talked to her and asked her things and went to look for Ginny, Evelyn and Natasha, chitchat with them and I walked to school's main gate. Mrs Lui was talking to her students then she suddenly come find me, said I look sweeter and have grown taller. (Y)
Went to find Stacey and the rest while they walked into school's compound we hand around the big space inbetween the canteen and general office.
Saw Mr dass and snap pictures with him and talked to him too.
Then lepak at roof top garden while Wenny, Constance and the boys puff. Brian and Felicia came up after that then the boys left to canteen and buy drinks.
Went to the hall to watch performance and saw a whole lot of teachers who taught me when I was in primary school days, talked to Ms Grace Koh. Saw Mrs Oh and Mrs Chiam then talked to them with Wenny, took pictures with them too. :)
Saw Mr Ten then went over with Wenny and Stacey, YongKiat came along after awhile then Mr Ten say Stacey is Yongkiat's wife, then I am Yongkiat's maid and Wenny's his grandmother lol. -.-
Walked down again to the Tables where we played Table Tennis, haha old times old times.. Group photos:
Bought tix at library and then went to canteen for food & drinks, only drank water... Went to school's backstage to find Olivia (Constance's sister) as Constance wanted to, but cher don't allow. -.- So we watched her performance instead. Went to backstage again to find her, but the teacher don't allow her to be with Constance, so we went up to third floor's platform near the toilet. While me, Stacey and Kianying was at the platform, the others went to puff at the other side all the way to the far end.
After that went to find Chen Lao Shi at the staff room, talked to her with Xinmei, Chengmun and Michelle. She had her second child in her stomach, hahaha very good at having and giving birth to children uh! heh. Got her number and left school. Stacey, Jones and some other people went the other way while Me, constance, wenny and the the 3 boys walked by the mrt way. Saw my sister and went back home with her, went to tuition then home at 9.30.
Okay, nothing to write anymore. Kthxbye enjoy school life and work hard for exams uh! Goodnight everyone! :) xo
Hey guys, due to school I have lack of time to update this space, promise I will update by this week okay? Catch up on Facebook and Twitter for more. :) Bye. xoxo
HI GUYS!!! Just here for a short update because I have time.
Yep, tomorrow is 10th anniversary of 9/11. My greatest wish is that someone bomb my school yeah! HAHAH, so not possible. But I hope, pray and wish very very very hardly!!! I love to see my school getting all flamed up and destroyed, heh. Okay will stop crapping.
Keep my formspring alive yeah people, and yes pls.... CLICK ON MY NUFFNANG. Thank you people out there okay! :)
(Something about 9/11)
Just some things that will creep you out.
Well, try this. Open up Microsoft words. Type in Q33 NY. (Q33 NY is the flight that crashed into the twin tower.) Highlight it and change your font size to 48. Then change your font to Wingdings. You'll be surprised. :)
Hope some of you can try it out, I will show the end of the result at the end of my post hiakhiak! How you guys are doing right now? Okay? Fine? Complicated? Miserable? Terrible?
Perhaps you can ask me some questions on formspring and I will try my best to help you with an answer or help you with what you want to know more about me. :)
Skylar Grey - Invisible
Have y'all check out Skylar Grey's new song? Haven't? Then listen to it, I've been repeating it over and over again. heh, addicted eh.
[Verse 1]
I take these pills to make me thin
I dye my hair, and color my skin
I tried everything, to make them see me
But all they see, is someone that's not me
[Chorus]
Even when I'm walking on barb wire
Even when I sat myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to lock my past
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
[Verse 2]
Here inside, my quiet heart
You cannot hear, my cries for help
I tried everything, to make them see me
But every one, sees what I can't be
[Chorus]
Even when I'm walking on barb wire
Even when I sat myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to lock my past
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
[Bridge]
Sometimes when I'm alone
I pretend that I'm a queen
It's almost believable
[Chorus]
Even when I'm walking on barb wire
Even when I sat myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Everyday I try to lock my past
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Skylar Grey Invisible lyrics found on:
http://www.directlyrics.com/skylar-grey-invisible-lyrics.html
Well, hope you like it. It really explains when someone is feeling alone?... This song makes me wanna cry eh. :( The lyrics are catchy and easy to remember, so y'all should totally check it out! :) Nothing much to say anymore... and yes, the results after what you have typed on Microsoft words, it's kinda shocking to me eh. :(
Super funny huh? Creepy maximum.
And yes, another video about "Illuminati", after I have watched this full length video. I totally freaked out. It's up to you to believe it or not, but must have patience to watch. ;) You can skip a little bit about what they say. :)
and yes, the 9/11 incident is prolly about Illuminati too. That's what the video said too!
I think the most interesting part is @ 1:08:58, check it out if your not patient enough to wait.
Alright, enjoy okay. Well since tomorrow's the last day of school holiday.... MUST CHERISH IT OKAY, woah 1 week holiday seems to be like just 1 second to me. :( Not enough!!!! Okay bye, xoxo
Yep boring enough. and, I haven't met baby in like 3days. That feeling is killing me. But the good thing is, I met him on tuesday night. Had heart2heart talks and really fool around at my house's so called "garden?" heh. Super love him la, he cut his hair again, cuter than ever can!!!!!!!! FINALLY OKAY! Finally I can meet him. I was dying on the inside due to lack of spending time with him laaaaa. :'( Poor thing right!!!
What I've been doing at home then... have been watching movies on funshion for this three days when I'm spending my morning and afternoon at home. Since I've got nothing to do now, so let me introduce to you guys some of the movies I like, and watched. :)
This morning I watched a few movies, so enjoy my post, and if you like the movie, go ahead and download if from funshion!
What about some books that Nicholas Sparks wrote and it was filmed...? it's all about love, brotherhood, sisterhood, but most of it are about romance. HA
The Notebook
2006
Trailer:
Starring:
Ryan Gosling
Rachel McAdams
James Garner
Gena Rowlands
Sam Shepard
James Marsden
Joan Allen
Dear John
2010
Trailer:
Starring:
Channing Tatum
Amanda Seyfried
Henry Thomas
Richard Jenkins
Scott Porter
The Last Song
2010
Trailer:
Starring:
Miley Cyrus
Liam Hemsworth
Kelly Preston
Greg Kinnear
Hmmmm time for other romance/brotherhood/sisterhood movies.....
Charlie St. Cloud
2010
Trailer:
Starring:
Zac Efron
Kim Basinger
Ray Liotta
Amanda Crew
Charlie Tahan
A shout out to Zac Erfon's fans.... including me, hehehehe must watch okay, he's uber super fucken hot can! Look at his muscles mannnnnnnnn!!!!
A Walk To Remember
2002
Trailer:
Starring:
Shane West
Mandy Moore
Beastly
2011
Trailer:
Starring:
Alex Pettyfer
Vanessa Hudgens
Mary-Kate Olsen
Peter Krause
Lisa Gay Hamilton
Neil Patrick Harris
Something Borrowed
Trailer:
Starring:
Ginnifer Goodwin
Kate Hudson
John Krasinski
Colin Egglesfield
Steve Howey
Ashley Williams
Have the urge to watch all this romance shows. HA, I'm sucha princess. -.-
So what's my plans today? Since it's raining now, then not intend to go out. Actually me, my mum and my sister and my mum's friend and her daughter is going out for swimming, heh I don't have the mood to go when my mum told me eh, then it rained! Lucky me. I can also kiss goodbye to my shopping already. :( It's okay, there are so many other days to like go shop eh. :) I've realized I shop a lot.... heh, money spender eh.
What I'm gonna do is talk to baby on the phone and watch my moviesssssssssssssssssss. I'm sure I am gonna gain some weight, I've been eating a whole lot. :(
Hmmmm life's pretty much bitch still... hate what happened E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y. But I've got my awesome boyfriend by my side, always supporting me and encouraging me about a lot of things. He's just my life, my partner, the one that I can't live without.
I know I know... I look hideous in that pink specs... but not bad eh. :)
As life goes on, I've learn a lot about it... and experienced a lot heart-breaks and stuffs. This are the obstacles in life that we couldn't ignore, and I believe God is watching us and giving us instructions and making us to be in "mistakes", so we can learn from it.
Although I'm pretty much of an impatient girl, but as long as your willing to do something, you will wait for it and get'em right? My life, it's super complicated... Did real bad stuffs, and met real cruel and bad people, also met real liars which can totally break my heart...
As we meet more people, we tend to get to know them and know more about human's characters. We may not know whether they are two-faced or not. But most importantly, you yourself... be YOURSELF. :) I've always got this in my mind, why would this world be so complicated? Why must there be fights, quarrels, thefts, robbery and a lot of other cruel stuffs like innocent people dying... Aren't we suppose to be in PEACE? I mean like, c'on people don't be such freaks why so paranoid and angry over little stuffs, and make a very big conflicts and fights(especially for couples, as they are extra sensitive)
Life can be a real bitch, and it can fucks us all. Everytime when I say to myself "Vanessa, you can do it, go for it" but.... I'd still failed in the end. And yes, relationships... I've been in quite a few relationships. The longest one was 1year+ going 2 year, but because of some private things... Don't wanna talk about it. Well, I hope Damien & I last for a very very long time, long life time(?) Hmmm maybe I'll hope and hope and wish and wish so that I could get that. haahahaha
I hate it when my mum blames me for nothing, and if she's wrong... she don't even fucken apologize, like hello? I am a human, I HATE FEELINGS YO!!!!! Sometimes, we even have the mother and daughter talk, super funny la. And yes, there is even one time both of us talk until cry, because I was super not behaving and I always go home about like midnight? Ok, can't believe I actually made her cry in front of me for the FIRST TIME.
I can really assure you, my life's ain't like a princess... Even though my mum say that she won't care about me, but deep down she is always caring for me. I've been spending a lot of money, and she didn't even care. Mum's always the best, dad's the best too. AHHHHH, but I love my daddy more. :3
I have really changed a lot, y'know my childish mind is in the past, and now I'm in the matured world... Heh, but there's one thing that I will act like a kid and settle things like a princess eh. IS THAT GIRLS FLIRTING WITH MY BOYFRIEND. Yes, I've experienced a lot of things like this, and I'm super fed up until I have gone real mad already.
Like seriously? If the girl have got a boyfriend, then she still flirts my boy. -.- Like too over limits eh. But if the girl only talk talk to my boy, I wouldn't mind because as long as it's not FLIRT.
I know, people will be saying that I'm too paranoid and over-sensitive. But which girlfriend will not be like this? I'm sure if other girls flirts your boyfriend, you will do the same way as me right? :)
Be it you like me or hate me. Haters to be hate, I'm happy to have a hater. Because you guys get me stronger and made me stand on my feet and say that "your words won't let me down". The more you care about what they insult and say about you, the more they will think it's fun and they will do it more to tear you down. I'm more of a stronger person, as I've been through heart-breaks and insults. I don't bother now, as long as I have my boyfriend and my best cliques by my side, I'm happy with it. Oh yep, and don't forget my lovely and adorable family!
I can never forget what you guys did so much special things to me(my family, boyfriend and friends la), I'm super lucky to have you guys around cheering for me and comforting me when I'm down and very lost.
Things just gets better and better each day, so I have to pray hard for my studies to go well too! I don't have to get like good grades like how the top students did, but my mum was lenient enough to let me just get all subjects a pass, and she's all happy. As for my sister, it's a little unfair... okai I would say, VERY UNFAIR for her cause she needs to score 70 and higher. Poor her yeah. :(
I know I have a very chubby cheeks, well people just LOVE to pinch it. heh
Got the angmoh feel? hehehehehe shy.
Although I don't have a perfect life, but I just need a normal life just like every teenagers, but I've got to have my own privacy eh. My mum's being a bitch looking at my messages between me and baby, she even said it out for me... :@ Okai now, FUCK MUMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry though, too angry. I hate people looking at my messages, same goes to you people right? C'on, can't we have our own privacy and chit chat with our own friends and boyfriend?!?!!?? or girlfriend.
My mum sometimes, can even sit next to me and hear who I'm talking with on the phone, and I'll be like "Cool story mum, can you get out?!" It's like so weird, if you said something like "Baby, I love you forever" to your boyfriend/girlfriend, isn't it weird?
This is why I hate parents from doing this to us, she can even do much more crazy things, but she's still my mum and we are blood related, so I won't bother much and carry on with my life.
I'm happy to have my life like this, and I'm satisfied. I'm happy enough already, having a loving, adorable and caring family. A cute, caring my everything boyfriend and all my best cliques who are cheering me up and giving me a lot of courage to go do what I really wanna do.
Well, enough of talking and just some more little pictures before you guys go. I bet your tired of my face. HAHAHHAAHAHHAH laugh laugh laugh!
Alright, will stop here update again when I have the pictures and time! :) xoxo bye!
