Saturday, July 30, 2011

I think you've a calculation problem bitch, relationships are obviously only meant for TWO.


Just here to update a lil'. Though i have no pictures, but all this below will do!

a post dedicated to my baby♥

Sometimes i wonder, if the meaning of words related to real life circumstances.
maybe if i wasn't that naive all the time, i wouldn't be that miserable right now.
till now, i've just realised that i was the biggest fool in my own life,

The biggest liar who has been lying to herself and others countless of times.

the one who always thought she knew how to stand right up, after countless times of downfalls.

the one that thought she could protect her loved ones till time ends, but failed miserably.

the one who never grumbles about how much she forked out, when she has nothing in return.

the one who always thought that she's the perfect one for someone, when she isn't.

the one who made someone love, but didn't make him believed her but yet lie to him always.

the one who knows nothing about love, but tends to have "the know it all" attitude.

the one who thought she had the world, when she had nothing.

the one who thought the whole world only revolved around her, when it doesn't even.

the one who wished that childhood times never ended, but it ended.

the one who was at fault all these time, but never stopped to think why.

the one who come's up with the most stupid ideas to gain attention.

the one who always lied to herself about love, sisterhood, brotherhood and even... reality.

the one who thought that she was the one who was always right and was never wrong.

the one who always thought that she was strong, when she was no where close to strong.

its this kind of attitude in me that got me, till now.
right now, you're a failure vanessa. and no one is to be blamed except you.
right here, right now, i just felt that life has taken its toll on me.
i'm nowhere near death, but i can feel that it's taking it's leave, a step at a time... really slowly, this kind of pain, really kills. i feel like ending my life.

Fuck life, fuck school, fuck the future, fuck lies, fuck this, fuck him, fuck fuck her, fuck you, fuck e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g!
My life's currently suck, argueing with baby most of the time. Trying not to give in all the time, and being stupid... Angry over little things, i really can't take it anymore. I hate myself for crying so easily... Re-reading every of your messages.Who is to say what love is or isn't? Who is to tell what they cannot see? They live blinded, filled with ignorance and unaware what takes place here. They have chosen to disregard what we know is to be real and true. Though they act with discrepancy, You know, I will always love you.

You can never forget the people who changed your life. You'll become a different person and everything you do is slightly altered by what they've taught you. Isn't it amazing how one special person can change you into another different person? After being together with him, i'm learning more, and have been really a good girl by studying real hard. My studies have improved and it's not like i fail all. I managed to pass my math. I've became a real responsible girl, a more sensible girl, but at times i just turn into another person because i got jealous... who will not get jealous when girls always talks to their own boyfriend?

I always tell myself not to give up, because when i do, i know i will lose you... Why do i even want to control you? because i care about you, i really care. I'm scared that one day you will leave me. Although you already promise me that you won't leave me, but i'm still scared... not that i don't trust you, but is that i want to make sure you really won't leave me by doing all this things for you. I know i'm being unfair, but i will do anything to keep you by my side. I don't care what it takes.

I know, this months being together with me was tough. Ups and downs, humans have been stopping us together, you should know who's the "HUMANS" are. Quarrels, fights, and a lot of other stuffs had happened. We went through a lot together, and bond together well enough like as if no one can break us up already. I'm sure that people think that we're sweet & perfect couples, but they don't know what we've been through and what's our pain.

I really want this relationship to last, not for long, but forever.

Seeing you, brightens up my day. Watching you smile/laugh at a corner, makes me super happy like i'm on cloud nine. I really need you, you are always there by my side when i needed you, but i wasn't there when you needed me, such a failure huh? I know i've not been showing you that much "caring"... and i don't really show my love towards you...

Remember all those times, when we're having fun, at all places...

The pictures in my camera, are all memories to be kept. and i really want to keep it till we are old, and we both will be still holding out hands together, sitting on the sofa, having drinks and looking all over our albums.

Let me close my eyes, wrap your arms around me tight.
Whisper sweet words in my ear,hold me through the night.
Make sure to keep me warm, your body close to mine.
Singing your soft lullaby, our love will never die.
The bond we've grown together, many couples simply lust... Also, and most importantly,we have each others trust....

I love you with all my heart, reply me through message if you ever came across this post okie♥

Monday, July 25, 2011

There's someone that bothers us, hurts us, irritates us but still stays in our mind/heart despite how much we don't want them to exist.


Okay so somebody from formspring requested me to like upload a picture of myself in my NCC(air) uniform...

So here it is! i know i look weird): i totally hate it ttm!

On a saturday, tuition teacher came and tuition-ed me. I swear tuitions just suck max...

After that went to look for baby, went to this lan at little india there! I swear that feeling of watching him playing blackshot suck.-'- hehehe but it's okay, at least he bother to care about me.♥♥♥♥♥♥ SWEET MAX OK.

After that walked all the way back to bugis junction, and settled down and had our dinner at 'nydc' the food there was awesome(: I was so hungry that i ate my food all finish before i even took it-.- Okay, i had spaghetti & baby had his stupid hamburger thing? I swear that won't fill his whole stomach up. Heart2heart talk with him while eating, then after that he pulled me all the way to 77th street. Walked pass neoprint then after that had to like 'please' him to like take neoprints with me...

His face looked like he really don't want to take, but no choice, he loves me too much.^.^ DOTE ON ME A LOT ALSO. Satisfied with the neoprints printed out. All pictures in baby's phone...(will update again on it when he send it to me!♥) All pictures will be updated very very soon okie!

Today, school as usual.

Assembly, talked about anger management, slept all the way during the talk. Heng heng vp not at hall, if not die alrd!
Then baby walked me to my class♥ how sweet?!!!!!? hehehehe chinese, revised for tmrw's test!
Recess with Jieying & other cliques, talked very loudly and whole crowd of the canteen was like looking at me. Super xiasuey.

English, nothing much. sleep all the way, then math, copied answers all the way. Then, history, i've been paying attention to ms loh's lesson, and so far she's the only teacher i respect the most man! Did all her work by myself! Baby must be so proud of me^.^
After school, went home with baby. Then he blackshot, watched movie. Then had our lunch tgt. Had a lil' tiff with baby): but in the end also okay♥

Nothing to write about alrd! ok bye people. Sorry for the improper post, too tired... Gonna head to sleep now! BED, I'M COMING.♥


Few pictures of me before you go off!♥ BYEBYEBYEBYE♥

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Love you like a love song.♥

Selena's new song out. It's been quite long alrd. But who cares? Super nice, addicted to it alrd. Her song stuck in my mind.

Nothing much yesterday. Went khakabo, audi for awhile then i watched my movie. Baby was playing bs all the way. He's not always sick & tired of bs. Ha ha, training my bs skills as hard as i can with baby <3 He's sweet enough to train me <3

Happy 4th Monthsary baby!♥

How i wish i can spend my everyday with you, and i won't even get tired of it, i swear. Watching you doing your things, makes me smiling to myself, saying that my sillyboy is so so cute. You always make my day & it just goes on and on. Memories were all just stuck on my mind, and when we talk about it, we were all smiling & laughing all the way, am i right?

Everyone will get into love, and people just got hurt after getting into a r/s. But boy, all those hurtings taught us a whole lot of things. And although sometimes we just breakdown, but i'm still here for you, and your there for me right? I'm still counting on & on, and we'll cfm last forever. You always play thru my mind like a symphony.

I wanna be your girl forever. ♥ The one who makes you go crazy whenever you think of me. I miss those older memories, when we were having so much fun, but now, have to listen to you, must study hard!!! I'll bury myself with my books & homeworks. But once end of year exams over, i'll just have fun with you♥

We started off as strangers, but how we met was a very interesting one! Thanks to the poser who called me. Then we slowly started to talked to each other & notice each other. ♥ In just like a few weeks, i started off being very close to you. & now, you mean the world to me.♥ Wonder how love's so strong hur? Boy i love you no matter what♥ Rmb the night during chinese new year? Thanks for accompanying me for the whole night around my relative's place. Had a really awesome heart to heart talk with you♥

I know i'd always been paranoid & stuffs, get jealous easy too. But i can still control my temper right?(: How lucky i am to have you as my boyfriend♥ All memories will be on my heart & mind forever and always. I really do care about you 'ma boy♥ I know you care for me a lot too! Trying to make me fat by making me eat a lot! he he, taking care of me when i'm sick. How sweet♥

Ha ha baby this is cute right? :3 It's how we'll be like when we're old enough to be married. I srsly have this urge to marry you now!♥ Wanna walk down the red carpet, letting my mum hand my hand to you, and she requesting you to take good care of me. ♥ And we both say "I do" to each other. Then we go for our honeymoon. ♥ (Y)

Our first step to our relationship, and we really started developing our love very very well.♥ Now where we are now? ha ha. We're still as sweet as ever. People must be really very jealous :3 teehee.

The way you always hug me tightly & say that you love me.♥ Ha ha so cute. and the way you so called "whined" to me. Super cute. and the way you said "please" and go winking at me. AWWWWWWWW. Laoniang want to pinch your face like Q#$%^&^%$#$%^&*(.

Everytime i say this to myself, and having the urge to call you, but in the end also too lazy. But we webcam-ed sometimes. Had fun taking screenshots of your cute face!♥ I still have it all in my lappy! You don't do anything wrong, or else i use that to threaten you ah!♥ he he joking urh♥

OHGEY, THIS IS CUTE MAN BABY. It's a crime to steal, so it's a perfect crime that i steal your heart, and you steal mine.♥ You better don't break my heart okay♥

I want to be your girl, a very special girl to you.♥ I want to be the only pretty one in your eyes, the only cute one in your eyes, the only one who you love a lot, the one who you can sacrifice with anything, the only one who you can pamper & care for.♥ I know it's selfish, but i love you, by all means, your mine mine mine♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I still remember clearly how we met. No matter what, all memories are stuck in my heart & mind. I won't forget a single thing!♥

I will stop crapping, and pictures are coming up now!♥

Done with all pictures, ha ha. Though my photograph skills not that nice, but all those were memories!♥ Hope baby reads this, although i know it's like going 12 already, and it's gonna be the end of the day... But hope he will be touched after he read this although i sent him sweet-talking messages about "Happy 4th monthsary" message.(; WINKS secret okay!♥

Kthxbye readers!♥ Although this post, it's for my babyboy. But your still enjoyed right?(: he he. Well, gonna go off now!♥ xoxo!